"When a man can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure." - Viktor Frankl
In this episode of "Unhooked," we delve into the essence of living a more spiritual life by uncovering three simple steps that anyone, regardless of their beliefs, can begin practicing today. These steps offer a universal approach to cultivating a deeper sense of meaning, purpose, and connection in your life. We'll explore how to avoid unwholesome actions, cultivate wholesome ones, and most importantly, how to purify your heart and mind, a crucial aspect often overlooked in many traditions. Join us as we break down these three pillars of spiritual living, providing you with practical insights and guidance for your personal journey towards a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
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ABOUT JEREMY LIPKOWTZ
JEREMY IS A MEDITATION TEACHER, LIFE COACH, AND DIGITAL HABITS EXPERT WHO WORKS WITH ENTREPRENEURS, EXECUTIVES, AND LEADERS.
Jeremy overcame addiction, shame, self-judgement, and depression in his early twenties with the help of mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness not only helped him let go of destructive behaviors, it also allowed him to connect with deeper meaning and purpose in his life.
For the past 10 years Jeremy has been teaching mindfulness and emotional intelligence practices at universities, recovery centers, and companies throughout Asia and the US. He holds a Bachelors and Master’s degree in Genetics and Genomics, and spent several years at Duke University working towards a PhD in Genetics & Systems Biology before he turned full-time to teaching mindfulness.
Jeremy is also an ICF certified Executive Coach. As a former scientist and academic, Jeremy has a great passion for bringing his EI based coaching skills into the corporate and professional world. He realizes how powerful & transformative these practices can be for skeptics and senior-level managers. He is known for his calm and grounded demeanor, his expertise in habits and high-performance, and his compassionate approach to transformation.
Coaching Certifications
* CPCC, Co-Active Training Institute
* ICF Member
* ACC International Coaching Federation
Jeremy is a Certified Teacher with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute, a mindfulness-based emotional intelligence program initially developed at Google. He also spent time living and training as a fully-ordained Buddhist monk in Myanmar. He now combines his science-based expertise with a hunger for personal development to help others discipline their minds and achieve genuine inner- peace and fulfillment.
You're listening to unhooked. On the show today, three simple steps to living a more spiritual life. Talking about the three pillars of a spiritual life that anyone including you can start practicing today. To feel more fulfilled and connected to a deep and meaningful life. So stay tuned.
So hello friends.
Welcome back to the show. Another solo episode for you here today. I'm still in Cape town just one more week. And then I fly back to Bali for a few months. And I've definitely enjoyed my time here in Cape town. And I'm also excited to get back to Bali. I've been missing the freedom of hopping on my scooter to get around and. Watching the. Gorgeous sunsets by the beach, which of course I can do here in Cape town. But I think what I miss most is my friends and the people in the community from Bali. So that's just a little life update for you on the show today, talking about three easy, simple and universal steps to living a more spiritual life. Often behind the yearning to break free from porn addiction. Is the desire that I would argue all of us have to live a deeper life. A more spiritual life. Whatever that means for you. To me to be more present the beauty of being alive. To have more gratitude for the gift of life and the things in your life. To feel more connected to nature or to a higher power.
If you believe in one. And just more connected to the world around us. We all have this need to be connected to some sense of purpose and meaning. And beyond that at the very least to feel like we're connected to a path for our lives and that we were walking along that path. Viktor Frankl. One of my favorite. Philosophers and psychologists. We wrote the man's search for meaning. One said when a man can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure. And I know that you can resonate with that. You know, if you are listening to this show. That when you are engaged in something like porn, it really feels like the opposite of living a purposeful life and a meaningful life. It's pointless.
It's empty. Calories is just distraction. And so part of the recovery process. Must involve connecting with some guiding purpose in your life. Some sense of meaning or reason for living. Rather than living your whole life. Just searching for distraction after distraction or pleasure after pleasure with no point to it. Uh, in 12 steps, they call this the higher power. I don't care what you call it.
You know, if you've been listening to this show, you know, that I am not particularly religious. At least not in the traditional sense. Uh, I have spent time as a, as a monk. I consider myself spiritual and potentially even religious, but I don't care what you call. This is some sense of finding your meaning in life. Some guiding light. And this can be a big stumbling block for many of you, particularly, if you aren't aligned with any particular religious tradition. But even if you are, it can still be challenging to know how to implement, how to actually embody a more spiritual life, how to practice it or cultivate it. So what I'm going to offer today. Is a simple universal approach to living a more spiritual life.
And when I say universal, I really mean that this is not just for Buddhists or atheists or Christians or Muslims or Hindus or whatever. If you follow a particular religion. Good. You know, these steps will be in accordance with that religion. I guarantee it. If you don't follow any religion. Also good. These steps today will be in accordance with what you know, to be true in your heart. Either way, it will give you a simple framework to start living a more spiritual life. And not just to start, this is essentially the foundation, the pillars. Of any spiritual practice, it can take you all the way. So what are these three simple steps?
That three pillars of a spiritual life. For context, this framework that I'm about to explore comes from the teachings of the Buddha. But again, don't worry. As you will see, this is universal. It's secular. This is available to anyone. And in fact, this is one of the reasons I, I particularly enjoy Buddhist philosophy is that it is. Not very religious in some ways, not religious at all.
It is a secular approach to living. A life of wisdom, a life of meaning and a happier, fulfilling life. So with that being said, this. Particular framework or this, uh, kind of analogy the story. These three steps do come from the teachings of the Buddha, but as you will see, it is applicable to you. So in the Dhammapada. Which is a famous collection of teachings of the Buddha.
One of the most famous collections. Someone had asked the Buddha, what is the essence of the teachings? You know, he basically went up to the Buddha and said, Hey, bro. You know, you've got a lot of teachings here. I'm busy and I can't really understand it. Can you just give me the TLDR? Can you give me. the dumbed down version of what is the essence of all these teachings? And in response, the Buddhist said this. To avoid all evil. To cultivate the good and to purify one's mind. This is the teaching of the enlightened ones. And when he said the teaching of the enlightened ones. What he meant is that this is the essence at the core of all enlightened traditions. If you are a Saint or a saintly teacher, or if your religious tradition has a prophet or someone. This will be at the core of what they are teaching. Because of course, how could it be otherwise stop doing harmful things. Do more good. And purify your heart and mind. Is there anyone who could argue against those things? Of course not.
So this really is the essence of a spiritual life.
So let's break these three steps down, so you can actually see a little bit more closely what these three mean and how to actually approach it in a, in a practical way. How can you actually implement this? So the first one is to avoid all evil and there are many translations of this, you know, a better translation might be something along the lines of. Avoid all unwholesome actions. Or unskillful actions. Or avoid causing harm. So one helpful way to explore this in a practical way is to look at the five ethical training precepts from Buddhism. So, these are kind of the monastic code.
You know, this is the very, the basic. And the monastics actually take. Take on something like 223, uh, precepts, but the basic for everyone is these five and what they are, are to abstain from destroying life or causing harm. To abstain from stealing or taking what is not for the offered. To abstain from sexual misconduct or causing harm with your sexuality. To abstain from lying or divisive speech. And to abstain from intoxicants that lead to heedlessness. So it's really about looking at the ways that your actions of body and speech are causing harm. And to stop doing those things. This is what is meant by that first step to avoid all evil, you know, to avoid unwholesome actions. And again, if you're wondering, okay, what are, what qualifies as an unwholesome action? Easy causing harm to yourself or to others in some way. And again, these five precepts, give us a nice framework. Are you killing? Are you stealing things?
Are you. Engaged in sexual misconduct causing harm with your sexuality? Are you lying? Are you taking drugs and intoxicants that lead to heedlessness. So that's the first step to living more spiritual life is to avoid. Quote-unquote evil. I don't really like the word evil because you know, it's very. Um, black or white, you know, I like more the framing of. Unwholesome actions, unskillful actions. So that's the first step. Step number two is to cultivate the good, this is to do more wholesome actions, more skillful actions. More helpful and right.
Kinds of actions. That lead to good in the world. So some examples to treat other people. And to treat yourself with kindness and compassion. To live, honestly. To speak the truth. To live a sober and upright life. You know, you can essentially take the opposite of these moral precepts. So protecting others, respecting the property of others. Partaking in healthy, uplifting sexuality, speaking, words of kindness and honesty. And eating. Healthy and nutritious foods.
All these different things can be ways to practice the good practicing generosity, compassion, helping. So many ways to do good things with your life. The third step purify the mind. This final step is so important. And it's often what gets missed by many traditions. You know, there are many traditions that understand and preach about the importance of the first two. To avoid evil and do more good. Well, one of the things that Buddhism really nailed was this understanding that. You can't just focus on those first two.
You have to also simultaneously. Purify the mind. You know, because the mind is where all of these actions stem from. You can understand. Yes. I'm supposed to practice compassion, but if you haven't uprooted the force of greed in the mind, If you haven't uprooted the force of judgment. You know, It's going to be very hard to practice those first two. So. You have to cultivate the mind just as a gardener, does. And there's another famous quote from the Dhammapada, which I like. Uh, in verse 33. It says mind, agitated, wavering. Hard to guard and hard to check. One of wisdom renders straight. As an Aero maker, a shaft. So essentially, you know, the same way that back in ancient time, someone who was making arrows would make the shaft of the arrow straight and focus on making it straight. And the same way we have to cultivate and train the mind and make the mind straight. So, what are the ways that we cultivate the mind? This is there's basically two things.
One is uprooting mental toxins. And the other is to cultivate and plant wholesome mental qualities. So uprooting mental toxins, greed hatred, ill will jealousy, arrogance. Ignorance, all of these things, again, that lead to suffering, lead to harm for ourselves and others. And then to plant seeds, you know, to cultivate these qualities that lead to happiness. Love compassion, patience. Equanimity resilience, joy, mindfulness. We actually have to spend time strengthening those qualities. And of course we can.
We know that now through neuro-plasticity this is. How we can train the mind is through repetition, through strengthening these neural pathways. And how do we do this? Again, the obvious answers meditation.
This is what meditation is. Training the mind. Meditation is not some. Fluffy mystical, magical thing, astral projection, where you're, you know, flying off into space. It is literally strengthening. The neural pathways that you want to strengthen. And it is intentionally. D strengthening the neural pathways that you don't want to strengthen. So when greed pops up, you're aware of that and you say, oh, I don't want to feed this.
Neuropathway. And when just the little Ember of compassion arises, you say, oh, this is a good mental quality. Let me cultivate this quality. Let me blow on the fire and let that grow stronger.
So those are the three steps to living a more spiritual life. You know, this is really the essence. Of all the enlightened. Teachers and all the enlightened teachings. No matter what religion, you know, you're a part of or philosophy. To live a spiritual life means to, to do less evil, to do more good. And to purify your heart and mind. So just remember if you're feeling loss and these three steps can be an great entryway to get you started. And for your recovery from porn and addiction. This last one of training, the mind cannot be overlooked.
It cannot be over exaggerated. You know, this is so important to rewire the mind, to train the mind to up root the mental toxins. Of craving aversion and delusion. So that is it for today. Folks. I hope you've enjoyed this episode. As always, if you want to support the show, Best way to do that is to leave us a review or shared with a friend. Um, that really does help the podcast grow. So that's it for today, signing off from beautiful Cape town.
We'll catch you on the next episode.