70. Why is Modern Day Porn So Addictive? Understanding the Psychology of Intermittent Rewards

Join host Jeremy Lipkowitz in this eye-opening episode of Unhooked as he delves into the captivating science behind the addictive nature of modern pornography. Discover the hidden psychology of intermittent rewards and how it keeps you hooked, while also gaining insights into breaking free from this digital age trap. Don't miss this thought-provoking exploration – hit that follow button and stay tuned!

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ABOUT JEREMY LIPKOWTZ

JEREMY IS A MEDITATION TEACHER, LIFE COACH, AND DIGITAL HABITS EXPERT WHO WORKS WITH ENTREPRENEURS, EXECUTIVES, AND LEADERS.

Jeremy overcame addiction, shame, self-judgement, and depression in his early twenties with the help of mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness not only helped him let go of destructive behaviors, it also allowed him to connect with deeper meaning and purpose in his life.

For the past 10 years Jeremy has been teaching mindfulness and emotional intelligence practices at universities, recovery centers, and companies throughout Asia and the US. He holds a Bachelors and Master’s degree in Genetics and Genomics, and spent several years at Duke University working towards a PhD in Genetics & Systems Biology before he turned full-time to teaching mindfulness.

Jeremy is also an ICF certified Executive Coach. As a former scientist and academic, Jeremy has a great passion for bringing his EI based coaching skills into the corporate and professional world. He realizes how powerful & transformative these practices can be for skeptics and senior-level managers. He is known for his calm and grounded demeanor, his expertise in habits and high-performance, and his compassionate approach to transformation.

Coaching Certifications

* CPCC, Co-Active Training Institute
* ICF Member
* ACC International Coaching Federation

Jeremy is a Certified Teacher with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute, a mindfulness-based emotional intelligence program initially developed at Google. He also spent time living and training as a fully-ordained Buddhist monk in Myanmar. He now combines his science-based expertise with a hunger for personal development to help others discipline their minds and achieve genuine inner- peace and fulfillment.  

Transcript

 You're listening to Unhooked. On today's episode, the science of intermittent rewards and why they make modern porn so addictive. So stay tuned.

  So hello, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of Unhooked. I'm your host, Jeremy Lipkowitz, back in action in the beautiful Island of Bali. And I'm gearing up for some very exciting things coming at you over the next few months. So on that note, if you are not yet subscribed to the podcast, please go hit that follow button so that you don't miss any of the upcoming announcements and special offers that we have here at Unhooked.

On the show today, the science behind the addiction, the power of intermittent rewards in modern pornography. On the journey of recovery, the more that you can understand your addiction, how it works, what's going on in your brain, et cetera, the more equipped you will be to spot it and work with it and overcome it.

So on the show today, I'm going to be exploring one of the aspects of the science behind the addiction, looking at one of the factors that makes modern porn so addictive. The first thing we need to understand is that the allure of pornography is not just about the sexual content that it has to offer.

In fact, rarely is porn actually about being genuinely horny or turned on. For most men, it's about all manner of other things. It's about procrastination, dealing with stress or anxiety, avoidance, boredom, you name it. And in this regard, what makes modern porn so captivating particularly for men, is the psychology and the delivery system behind the experience of porn itself. 

So for many men, the appeal of porn is primarily in its ability to offer up an escape, a numbing out from reality into distraction and oblivion.  And this is essentially what addiction is. It's an escape from reality. Running away from pain, escaping into the world of pleasure, cheap dopamine, and manufactured excitement. 

And one way that this escape manifests in the mind of the porn addict is searching or hunting for the perfect video. You can spend hours scrolling through countless options seeking that one ideal clip that will provide the ultimate satisfaction.  I remember in my own porn days I would spend hours and hours trying to find the perfect video to finish on and never feeling quite satisfied.

So each video that you look at might not quite hit the mark, but this continuous quest keeps you engaged.  What's interesting here is that the promise of a reward just around the corner is actually what gives you a lot of the dopamine that makes you feel good.  Dr. Robert Sapolsky recently said on the Chris Williamson podcast that dopamine is not the pursuit of happiness, but the happiness of pursuit. 

It's the hunt. It's the pursuit that actually makes us feel so good and that we get addicted to.  It's kind of like a flow state. It's just one that happens to have a lot of negative side effects and harmful consequences. So it's that high feeling we get when we're hunting for something, seeking that prize that's just around the corner.

Now, another aspect of the psychology of modern day porn addiction is what is known here as intermittent rewards. So, studies on human behavior have shown that intermittent rewards, those that are unpredictable and variable, are far more addictive than regular or consistent rewards. So this phenomenon in the science world is known as the variable ratio schedule,  and it's where a number of clicks or attempts are required to obtain

the reward is uncertain. So it's similar to playing a slot machine at a casino where you never know when the next payout is going to come. So, research conducted on pigeons, subjected to this type of random reinforcement schedule, as opposed to a consistent reinforcement schedule, showed that they would peck endlessly at a dot, even to the point of near starvation, in the hopes of receiving a single pellet of food. 

So this random reinforcement schedule, the uncertain reinforcement schedule, made the habit even more addictive. And we can see this behavior in ourselves, endlessly refreshing social media or dating apps in hopes of getting a new notification.  

So when people open these apps, they are met with an unpredictable result. Sometimes they get a notification, and sometimes nothing at all. And this unpredictability enhances the dopamine spike in the brain when a notification finally does appear, making the experience even more rewarding and addictive. 

The same principle applies to porn as well. So the unpredictable nature of Whether you are going to see something you like makes it even more rewarding and addictive.

Furthermore, there is also an effect of the thrill of the delay. The brief time delay between taking an action and receiving a result also contributes to the addictive nature of intermittent rewards. So just like a slot machine, It doesn't show the result instantly. It's not like the moment you pull down the handle, you get the result.

You have to wait for the wheels to turn and finish spinning, and this adds to that layer of excitement. It adds to the thrill and adds to the dopamine hit.  In the case of pornography, clicking on a link or typing in a search term and eagerly awaiting for the page to load builds anticipation and excitement. 

So this delay, coupled with the unpredictability of the content, Enhances and again adds to the addictiveness of the whole overall experience.  So this again is one of the reasons that modern day porn is so addictive. It is not just the explicit content in porn, it's the very system of accessing and searching that also plays a significant role. 

The gambling like nature of porn with the unpredictable rewards contributes to its effectiveness in hooking people.  It's about the entire experience from the initial search to the final reward and the delivery system involved. So just understanding modern day porn is so highly addictive,  and this is deeply rooted in the psychology of intermittent rewards.

This quest to find the perfect video, the uncertainty of what each click will reveal, and that anticipation of delayed gratification. All work together to create a very potent addiction.  So understanding the science behind this addiction can help you recognize and address it if you find yourself caught in its grip. 

Sometimes all it takes is seeing through the curtain, and understanding how your brain is being hijacked, to give you that slight edge in breaking free.  Now we all have to learn how to navigate the digital age, and in order to do so it's essential to be aware of how these psychological factors influence our behaviors. 

Again, remembering that there are billions and billions of dollars behind trying to get you hooked on this content.  So the next time you find yourself hunting for the perfect video or lost in that escape hunting for distraction, I hope you remember this episode. I hope that you see what's going on and that instead you find a healthier way to get your dopamine fix.

You can go for a walk. Take an ice plunge, play sport, hit the gym. There are so many ways to get your needs met. Porn just makes you feel like they're being met, but really you're digging a deeper hole for yourself. So that's it for today, folks. I hope you enjoyed this episode. As always, if you'd like to support the show, please give us a follow and leave us a five star review.

That really does help the show. So thanks again. We'll catch you on the next episode.