Seven powerful habits to establish a strong foundation for recovery from porn addiction, emphasizing long-term and sustainable transformation. These habits include self-love, seeking support, embracing discomfort, maintaining centering habits, exploring inner work, committing to the journey, and taking extreme ownership of one's life.
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ABOUT JEREMY LIPKOWTZ
JEREMY IS A MEDITATION TEACHER, LIFE COACH, AND DIGITAL HABITS EXPERT WHO WORKS WITH ENTREPRENEURS, EXECUTIVES, AND LEADERS.
Jeremy overcame addiction, shame, self-judgement, and depression in his early twenties with the help of mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness not only helped him let go of destructive behaviors, it also allowed him to connect with deeper meaning and purpose in his life.
For the past 10 years Jeremy has been teaching mindfulness and emotional intelligence practices at universities, recovery centers, and companies throughout Asia and the US. He holds a Bachelors and Master’s degree in Genetics and Genomics, and spent several years at Duke University working towards a PhD in Genetics & Systems Biology before he turned full-time to teaching mindfulness.
Jeremy is also an ICF certified Executive Coach. As a former scientist and academic, Jeremy has a great passion for bringing his EI based coaching skills into the corporate and professional world. He realizes how powerful & transformative these practices can be for skeptics and senior-level managers. He is known for his calm and grounded demeanor, his expertise in habits and high-performance, and his compassionate approach to transformation.
Coaching Certifications
* CPCC, Co-Active Training Institute
* ICF Member
* ACC International Coaching Federation
Jeremy is a Certified Teacher with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute, a mindfulness-based emotional intelligence program initially developed at Google. He also spent time living and training as a fully-ordained Buddhist monk in Myanmar. He now combines his science-based expertise with a hunger for personal development to help others discipline their minds and achieve genuine inner- peace and fulfillment.
You're listening to unhooked. The breaking point addiction podcast. On the show today, I'm going to be talking about seven powerful habits, seven powerful things you can do to lay the foundation for your recovery from porn addiction. And for long lasting and sustainable results. So once you recognize and get clear that you have a problem in your life and that you want to break free from that compulsive habit or behavior. The question is what do you do next?
And how do you make sure that your recovery is not only effective? But more importantly, that it's deep and sustainable, that it's not just a temporary fix, but a lifetime transformation. So, whether you're struggling with porn addiction or any other kind of self-sabotaging behavior or self destructive behavior. This episode will help you build that solid foundation for your life. And it will give you the tools that you need to do the deep inner transformation work. So stay tuned.
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So hello, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the show. I'm your host, Jeremy Lefkowitz. Before we dive into today's content, a few announcements . One, just an announcement that soon we will be relaunching the unhooked community. Group coaching program. So this is something that we started about two years ago and by popular demand, we are going to be bringing it back.
So if this is something that you are interested in in being in community with other men who are going through porn addiction, recovery. And you're looking for support. Then I want you to reach out to me and let me know that you're interested in the unhooked community. You can find me on Instagram at Jeremy liquids.
You can find on my website about how to get in touch, but let me know if you want in on this, the first cohort will be small and intimate. And after that it will be growing. So just let me know if you're interested. A few other notes. If you want to support the show, please do consider leaving us a review.
It really goes a long way in helping to grow the show. So that more people can see this show and get the support that they need. So onto today's content today is all about building a solid foundation. Recovery and transformation. Is a long-term project. And so establishing a strong foundation is incredibly important. Just as it is with building a house, you can build the most beautiful house in the world.
It can be incredible. It can be just how you'd like it. But if the foundation is not solid, the house won't last. So you can put in Florida ceiling windows, a beautiful kitchen island, a lovely garden a book room, a library. You can do all that work, but if you don't have a strong foundation, The first time the rain comes, it's going to be swept away. Similarly, if you're an architect or someone who is in that industry, you know, that the first 50% of the work of creating a new building is the unsexy work of laying a strong foundation. And this is the work that no one sees.
It's the work that feels like a chore. It's the work that doesn't give any immediate benefits. But it is incredibly important for making that building strong and long lasting. So in this episode, I'm going to cover seven things that you can do to lay a strong foundation for your recovery and for your life. These are things that I wish I had started doing at the beginning of my own journey. But they are things that I do to this day and things that I tried to implement as much as I can.
And they're going to help you out on your recovery journey as well. And again it doesn't matter if you are addicted to porn. If you're addicted to dating apps, if you are struggling with compulsive eating. Any kind of self-destructive behavior, any kind of compulsive habit, this is going to be beneficial for you. So without further ado, let's dive into my seven powerful habits. Number one is self-love learning to love yourself. This is what it really all boils down to is learning to be your own best friend. I remember I was on a meditation retreat once and one of the teachers, Joseph Goldstein. Red a samurai poem that stuck with me. And it was something along the lines of this is this ancient samurai poem that says I make my mind, my friend. So the idea is if you could actually. Make your mind, your own best friend. If you could make your mind a place that is supportive and helpful and nurturing and kind, rather than having a mind that is beating you up and judging you and criticizing you. This is so important because it gives you an ally and internal ally that you can rely on and that you can count on. And there's no greater joy than having a mind. That is your friend. Rather than a mind that is. Nagging at you judging you, criticizing you.
That is one of the biggest Hells is to live in. A space where your mind is your enemy. So that is the number one habit or strategy or thing you can do to lay a strong foundation. Is learning how to love yourself, learning how to be your own best friend. Habit number two is finding safe people to talk with. So just in the same way that habit number one was about making your mind, your friend. Habit number two is about finding actual friends that you can go to for support that you can go to, to lean on when you need help. That can be a safe space for you to talk about what's going on in your life. So finding these people where you can talk openly about your struggles. Is the first step to healing because it's in these areas where you can admit to others that you have a problem. Where you can let go of shame.
You can let go of the fear of being found out. And that is so incredibly healing. You know, one of the most. Valuable things in my life. Are the friends that I have that I know that I can tell anything to, because that just lets so much of the weight off of your shoulders. If you can have that. Habit number three is to get comfortable with discomfort. And to actually see discomfort as a sign of progress and a sign of growth. The comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing grows there.
This is a quote that I recently shared on social media and I just love it. Your comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing grows there. And if you want to grow. If you want to see progress, you've got to get comfortable with discomfort. You have to learn that. Getting outside your comfort zone, doing challenging things, challenging yourself is going to be where you're going to seek growth. So I also like to apply this to the realm of conversations.
This is something that's been coming up a lot with the clients that I've been working with. And also just in my own. Friend groups and my own communities and relationships. The importance of knowing how to have difficult conversations. Knowing how to address. What's uncomfortable knowing how to talk about what's uncomfortable.
These are things that are going to support you. Long-term in your recovery. Habit number four is to identify your centering habits and commit to a consistent practice. So we are what we repeatedly do. And so having a solid routine or discipline. With habits that support you. Is incredibly important for a healing journey. This can be things like journaling. Uh, morning meditation, regular exercise. A weekly community meetup, whatever it is that centers you and grounds you and supports you. See, if you can identify what those habits are. And then commit to being consistent with them. An important note here is understanding that this is going to be different for everyone. For some people, having a journaling habit is very supportive and very nurturing. And for other people, it might be meditation and yoga. Other people, it might be exercise and going to the gym. Finding what centers you finding? What grounds you. Maybe it's surfing or going on a hike. And then committing to. Making that consistent in your life, making sure that you keep up with that throughout your life. Those are going to be the things that center you and ground you and support you longterm.
Habit number five is to continue to do and explore inner work. So not just focusing on outward changes, not just focusing on. External things like your looks or your weight or your fitness. Or your streak? But what's going on inside of you within you? What are the emotions that you're experiencing? So developing. More emotional intelligence, more emotional awareness. Whatever inner work means to you. Finding ways to explore your internal landscape is so important. So this might be exploring your trauma. Exploring what your triggers are. Understanding your insecurities and how they play out in your life and how they affect your relationships with yourself and other people. The work that you put in here on doing the inner work is going to support you and serve you long-term throughout your life. Not just in your recovery from porn or your recovery from compulsive habits and behaviors. But in every aspect of your life, your career, your relationships, your finances. Doing the inner work is so important.
Habit number six, to support you in your longterm journey and to lay a good foundation. Is finding ways to lock yourself in for a long journey. What I mean by that is finding ways to pre-commit yourself. To the long haul to the long journey. Some metaphors that I like to use for this. I've talked about this in previous episodes, but throwing your hat over the fence. You know, if you know that you want to get to the other side of the fence. If you take your hat off and you throw it over the fence. It commits you to getting to the other side. Similarly burning the boats behind you.
If you arrive at the island, the enemy island, and you want to conquer that island. And you burn the boats behind you. You have no choice, but to move forward and commit to taking that island. So finding ways in your life to commit to the long journey is going to be supportive. A few ways that I've done this.
You know, when I was in grad school, when I was at duke university and starting my own meditation habit and really want it to be consistent with that habit. I committed to, and I publicly committed to showing up on campus and leading a morning meditation at 8:00 AM every day. And I announced that to the public. You know, I announced it and I said, I will be here at 8:00 AM. For a free community guided meditation. If anybody wants to join, I'll be there. And what that did is it forced me to show up regardless of whether or not other people were coming. Because I was going to be there no matter what.
And I knew that I had to go there because if I didn't. I would be ashamed of letting other people down. So that was one way that I committed myself to the long haul. Other ways you can do it. Joining a program, hiring a coach, finding ways to commit yourself. A lot of my clients tell me that they might be. Annoyed that my, coaching program is an upfront fee. But they really appreciate it because they know that when they pay up front, it commits them to showing up for the sessions. They know they have to show up because otherwise. They lose the money and they don't want to do that. So that's another way to lock yourself in for the journey. Habit number seven.
The final thing that you can do that supports your recovery and lays the foundation. Is taking full ownership of your life. Full extreme ownership, radical responsibility, taking ownership for your actions and for your own healing. You have to get out of the victim mentality. You have to get out of waiting for someone else to make the change. just taking ownership, taking action and saying, if I want to change, I have to be the one to do it.
I can't rely on somebody else. Making the change for me. There are so many. Ways to look at this, but the victim mentality. The idea that somebody else is responsible is going to be one of the things that will keep you stuck in that addiction. And unless you take ownership, it's very hard to change your life. And. The other thing to think about about this is that the more ownership you take, the more success you will see. Even if something is not your fault, even if it could be someone else's responsibility. If you can take responsibility for it, you will see more progress and more success.
So those are my seven habits for building a strong foundation for your recovery.
And it's really just about building a strong foundation for your life and for your success. Even if you're not addicted to anything. If you implement these seven things, they will make your life better and they will help you be more successful. So self-love learning to love yourself, finding safe people to talk with and to be vulnerable with. Getting comfortable with discomfort and seeing discomfort as a sign of progress. Identifying your centering habits and committing to that consistent practice. Continuing to do and explore inner work and your emotional landscape. Finding ways to lock yourself in for the long journey. And finally taking ownership of your actions.
These are the seven habits that are going to support you on your journey.
So I hope that's been helpful for you today. That's all I've got for you. I hope you enjoy the rest of your week. And I will catch you on the next episode.