In this episode of "The Joy of Missing Out," I dive deep into the pervasive influence of FOMO in our daily lives. From the relentless scrolling through social media feeds to the pressure of constant availability, we explore how the fear of missing out can rob us of true joy and contentment. Expect a journey of self-discovery and liberation from the grips of FOMO.
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ABOUT JEREMY LIPKOWTZ
JEREMY IS A MEDITATION TEACHER, LIFE COACH, AND DIGITAL HABITS EXPERT WHO WORKS WITH ENTREPRENEURS, EXECUTIVES, AND LEADERS.
Jeremy overcame addiction, shame, self-judgement, and depression in his early twenties with the help of mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness not only helped him let go of destructive behaviors, it also allowed him to connect with deeper meaning and purpose in his life.
For the past 10 years Jeremy has been teaching mindfulness and emotional intelligence practices at universities, recovery centers, and companies throughout Asia and the US. He holds a Bachelors and Master’s degree in Genetics and Genomics, and spent several years at Duke University working towards a PhD in Genetics & Systems Biology before he turned full-time to teaching mindfulness.
Jeremy is also an ICF certified Executive Coach. As a former scientist and academic, Jeremy has a great passion for bringing his EI based coaching skills into the corporate and professional world. He realizes how powerful & transformative these practices can be for skeptics and senior-level managers. He is known for his calm and grounded demeanor, his expertise in habits and high-performance, and his compassionate approach to transformation.
Coaching Certifications
* CPCC, Co-Active Training Institute
* ICF Member
* ACC International Coaching Federation
Jeremy is a Certified Teacher with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute, a mindfulness-based emotional intelligence program initially developed at Google. He also spent time living and training as a fully-ordained Buddhist monk in Myanmar. He now combines his science-based expertise with a hunger for personal development to help others discipline their minds and achieve genuine inner- peace and fulfillment.
You're listening to unhooked. On today's episode. The joy and fear of missing out. Talking about the concepts of FOMO and Jomo. And how to use the concept of Jomo or the joy of missing out. To improve your life and stay away from toxic behaviors. So stay tuned.
So hello, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome back to the show. My name is Jeremy liquids. The host of the unhooked podcast. And I am today in Bangkok and it is a song cran, the Songkran festival. Where the whole country descends into chaos, but a beautiful chaos, a happy chaos. And it is basically three days of water fights here in Thailand.
The entire country participates in water fights. And it is a beautiful time to be in Thailand. It's really just one of my favorite. Uh, experiences to see people just being so happy. To be out under the sun and playing with water guns and. Shooting each other with water guns. It's a really beautiful thing to witness the happiness of people here. And I have been really enjoying my time here and enjoying the Songkran festival. And it relates to what I want to talk about today, which is the concept of FOMO or the fear of missing out.
So. A little story yesterday.
I was out during the day, enjoying the Songkran festival, playing with water, guns, and enjoying the whole city. And I was out for most of the day with some friends and I got home. Late in the afternoon, maybe early evening, around 5:00 PM. And I was just exhausted. You know, I'd been out on my feet all day, walking around, enjoying being under the sun. And so when I got home, I was pretty wrecked, pretty tired. Uh, and just needed to rest and recoup. And one thing to know about some crime is that there are the festivals during the day.
There's, you know, people out playing with water guns during the day, but there's also a lot that happens in the evening. Particularly more on the party scene, so to speak. There are a lot of people who like to go out at night and continue the festival. And that night, last night I got called by some friends and said, Hey, we're going to go out tonight.
We're going to go play with the water and go out drinking and dancing.
And, you know, I'll be very honest that there was a big part of me that wanted to go out and enjoy the festivities.
There was a big part of me that wanted to go out and party and drink and dance and be out late into the night. And, you know, it was that junky in me that wanted more pleasure, more happiness. And I had that FOMO. I had the fear of missing out. I thought about what a fun time it would be and all the fun that I could have. But there was also a part of me that knew that going out was not a smart idea. That it wasn't wholesome fun.
It wasn't the kind of fun that I would. Be glad I did the next day. It was in noisy bars with lots of people drinking and loud music. And I would be up late. I wouldn't get the rest that I needed. And this deeper part of me knew that it wasn't serving my purpose. It wasn't in alignment with the kind of man the kind of human that I want to be. And that is a man that is disciplined, man.
That is content with simple pleasures and spending time with friends. I want to be a man that doesn't overindulge in sense. Pleasure. And then it goes to sleep at a respectable hour and wakes up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. This is the type of man I want to be. And the man that I am when I'm at my best. And I also knew that if I were to go out, I would not feel happy in the morning.
I would feel tired and exhausted. And if I stayed in, I would feel so much better. If I stayed in and went to bed by 10. I could wake up around seven. I could feel refreshed and alert and awake and have the energy and the mental clarity. To get the work done that I wanted to get done to go to the gym and go climbing.
There were so many reasons that I had to stay in. And it was in that realization that I remembered this concept of Jomo that I heard many years ago, which is the joy of missing out. And yes, there would be people out there having fun. That night. But the question is, was it truly making them happy? You know, I can reflect in my own life, how many times I've gone out searching for happiness in that kind of environment, in that kind of escape only to feel worse the next day only to feel. Exhausted or tired or hung over, or maybe even regret some of my actions. And so instead, could I take joy in staying in?
Could I take joy in the renunciation? Can I take joy in honoring my higher values in my higher aspirations. Taking joy in not abusing my body, not pushing myself too far. And take joy in not overindulging in unhealthy levels of pleasure. Because again, this concept comes up many times on this podcast. There's nothing wrong with pleasure and there's nothing wrong in indulging in pleasure. But when you overindulge, when you go too far, that's when you become the junkie. So. I decided to. Really live up to this. You know, my higher aspirations and I decided to stay in, even though I had friends saying, Hey, come out, let's go out. I decided that in my best interest, I would be so much happier if I decided to call it a night and to say, you know what?
I've had a great time up until now. I've enjoyed the day fully and now my body needs rest. Now my soul needs to be at peace. And so I decided to stay in, I woke up bright and early and I felt so amazing and so happy that I decided to stay in. And so my challenge for you this week is to notice where your fear of missing out your FOMO might cause you to do things that you later regret. Mike cause you to push beyond your limits beyond your boundaries. To sabotage your progress and your happiness.
And instead, if you can choose to miss out and take joy in the missing out. To turn that FOMO into Jomo. Now it might be related to porn. You might be. In this moment of kind of wanting to act out, wanting to indulgent porn. And having that fear of missing out. If I don't do this, you know, there's this fun that I might miss out on, but instead, can you tap into this Jomo and say, you know what, if I don't act out right now, I'm going to feel so much better.
I'm going to feel so happy. That I did not engage in this behavior. So it might be related to point. It might be related to something else, like going out for drinks when you really don't want to going to some social event. When you feel overwhelmed or overburdened? And again, just to reflect on it. Is this going to serve your higher purpose?
Is this going to bring you deeper fulfillment? Now of course saying no. And the joy of missing out has to be tempered with this awareness of the fine line between your comfort zone, you know, staying in because it's a comfort zone. And how important it is to sometimes get outside of your comfort zone to push your boundaries and to push your limits. The litmus test here is to make sure that if you are getting outside your comfort zone, That it's in service of your higher potential that it's in service of your growth. In service of deepening contentment or your relationships that it's not pushing your boundaries or getting outside your comfort zone, just in service of having more pleasure.
Because again, I talk about this all the time on the podcast, more pleasure does not equal more happiness. It's one of the key concepts we have to understand. In addiction, recovery. Pleasure does not equal happiness. They can be related. They can. Into we with each other sometimes and sometimes pleasure. Can be a moment of happiness, but they are not the same thing.
And more pleasure does not mean more, bring more happiness. So, again, my challenge for you today, where in your life can you tap into this Jomo? Where in your life can you practice renunciation? And say, you know what? I want to practice simplicity. I want to practice contentment. I want to honor my need for rest and honor my need for solitude. And I'm going to say no to this so that I can honor those values. That is the challenge for you today. So that is it for today.
Folks, as always, if you are looking for support with your addiction, if you're looking for help in overcoming your porn addiction problem or your compulsive porn use. I still have a few spots open. Left on my coaching roster for this month. So, if you are interested in one-on-one coaching or my unhooked academy program, Get in touch for a free consultation to see if the unhooked academy program, is right for you. So signing off from beautiful Thailand, I will catch you. on the next episode.