98. How to Become Unstoppable in 2024 - 6 Keys to Getting More Out of Life (rebroadcast)

Welcome to another episode of Unhooked, the breaking porn addiction podcast. In today's episode, Jeremy discusses six essential strategies to become unstoppable in all areas of life, including managing addictions, achieving entrepreneurial dreams, and reaching personal goals. Learn to take responsibility, channel sexual energy into positive pursuits, stop solely chasing pleasure, find your purpose, take care of your body, and embrace discomfort. These powerful tips are designed to help you break free from unhealthy habits and step into a life of true freedom and lasting fulfillment.

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00:00 Introduction to Unhooked Podcast

00:54 Setting the Stage: Becoming Unstoppable

02:01 Key 1: Take Responsibility for Everything

03:16 Key 2: Channel Your Lust and Craving

05:20 Key 3: Stop Simply Chasing Pleasure

07:35 Key 4: Find Your Purpose

09:34 Key 5: Take Care of Your Body

14:24 Key 6: Embrace Discomfort

19:24 Conclusion and Recap





ABOUT JEREMY LIPKOWITZ

Jeremy overcame addiction, shame, self-judgement, and depression in his early twenties with the help of mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness not only helped him let go of destructive behaviors, it also allowed him to connect with deeper meaning and purpose in his life.

For the past 10 years Jeremy has been teaching mindfulness and emotional intelligence practices at universities, recovery centers, and companies throughout Asia and the US. He holds a Bachelors and Master’s degree in Genetics and Genomics, and spent several years at Duke University working towards a PhD in Genetics & Systems Biology before he turned full-time to teaching mindfulness.

Jeremy is also an ICF certified Executive Coach. As a former scientist and academic, Jeremy has a great passion for bringing his EI based coaching skills into the corporate and professional world. He realizes how powerful & transformative these practices can be for skeptics and senior-level managers. He is known for his calm and grounded demeanor, his expertise in habits and high-performance, and his compassionate approach to transformation.

Transcript

  You're listening to Unhooked, a breaking porn addiction podcast. In today's episode, I'm going to be talking about six ways to become unstoppable. So, Stay tuned. 

Hi, I'm Jeremy Lippwitz, and with over 12 years of meditation experience as a mindfulness trainer and coach for high performers, I've become obsessed with helping people break free from compulsive, unhealthy behaviors and addictions, and step into a life True freedom so that they can finally become their best selves and cultivate deeper and lasting fulfillment. 

I've created unhooked the breaking point addiction podcast to give you simple, actionable step by step strategies to master your mind and optimize your life.  This is unhooked. So  welcome everyone to another episode of the unhooked podcast. It is a beautiful Thursday afternoon here in Amsterdam, the skies are blue and the sun is out.

And it's been a beautiful day and I was just feeling inspired to talk about, uh, this topic of, you know, what are some of the things that will help you in your porn recovery journey?  And I want to mention at the top of this podcast that  the things I'm going to be talking about today really aren't just about porn recovery or addiction recovery in general, it's just about becoming your best self.

So what are the things that you can do? What are the mindsets that you can adopt that will help you become unstoppable in whatever it is that you're working on in your life? Whether it's your entrepreneurial dreams, your relationship goals, your fitness and exercise goals. What are the things you need to do, particularly as a man in our society to become unstoppable, to really thrive?

Take life by the horns and get the most out of it.  So number one, the first thing you can do to become unstoppable is to take responsibility for everything. So to not make excuses, to not play the victim, And this is not to say that everything in your life is your fault, but it is to say that at this moment, everything is your responsibility.

So there are things that have happened in the past to you that were not your fault, that shouldn't have happened, that really sucked, but to continue to play the victim and blame other people is to give your power away.  And instead, adopting this mindset of taking responsibility for your life.  And this is so important.

Especially important when it comes to things like porn addiction, where really you are the only one that can get yourself out of it. It's not to say that, you know, you shouldn't get support, you shouldn't get accountability, join communities, but understanding that if you don't want to break free, and if you don't put in the effort, nothing's gonna change. 

So taking ownership, taking responsibility for your successes, for your failures, for your daily habits, it's important. This is the number one key to becoming unstoppable in your life.  The second thing you can do to become unstoppable is to channel your lust and your craving. Channel your sexual energy and transmute it into more powerful hobbies and interests and pursuits.

So rather than shooting your sexual energy into a tissue paper or a sock, you know, when you masturbate and watch porn, can you channel that same sexual energy into into your hobbies? into your relationships, into your creative endeavors, to your work. So, you know, this is really about understanding that  your sexual energy in particular, it's not bad.

It's just often misguided or misdirected.  And actually you can let your strong sexual energy work for you. rather than holding you back or holding you down.  So when you don't channel it in this healthy or wholesome or skillful way, it can end up keeping you stuck, keeping you isolated, keeping you in that place of acting out and procrastinating. 

So really getting comfortable with channeling that energy. When you feel that strong lust, instead of wasting it on something like porn or masturbation, can you channel it into a creative endeavor? So for example, you know, someone I work with. Uh, is channeling that energy into music and, and, you know, creating and, you know, tapping into that creative side. 

Other people will channel it into fitness or exercise or martial arts,  but also you can just channel it into your relationships. You know, can you reach out to a friend? Can you, uh, get uncomfortable by going out and meeting real people in real life? There's a lot of ways to channel that energy, to transmute it.

into something powerful. And that's a topic that's going to come up a lot on this podcast is understanding that your sexual energy is not a bad thing. It's a beautiful thing. And it's about tapping into it in a healthy way.  The third thing you can do to become unstoppable is to stop simply Chasing pleasure as if it's the only thing that matters.

So things like sex,  money, status, validation, tasty food. There's nothing wrong with these, but most people idolize these to the point of missing out on everything else that brings happiness.  And the interesting thing is, you know, we've done all the studies, there've been numerous studies over the past many decades  showing that more pleasure doesn't necessarily bring more happiness.

And in fact, it's only when you're feeling fulfilled in your relationships, when you're feeling engaged in your work, in your life, Only when you have that other  side of your happiness really working for you, does pleasure add to your happiness.  And so, to stop simply chasing pleasure as if it's the only thing, and start chasing some of these other things that bring happiness and fulfillment.

So, for example, finding work or hobbies that engage you,  being of service to others in your community,  living with purpose, practicing gratitude, there's so many things that you can do to cultivate that deeper sense of happiness and fulfillment. Pleasure is just one part of it. You know, living a pleasant life, being comfortable, um, having exciting things going on.

Again, there's nothing wrong with it. It's beautiful. But so many people make the mistake. of focusing on that and ignoring everything else.  And chances are you're here listening to this podcast because you realize that  more pleasure does not bring more happiness. We have so much pleasure in our life and at some point  it starts to feel empty.

It starts to feel meaningless. You know, it's just like, Oh, okay. More and more pleasure. But what's the point? We're just looking for distraction at some point.  So to stop simply chasing pleasure and start chasing some of those other things that bring deep. Lasting inner fulfillment to your life.  Speaking of purpose, this leads me to the fourth thing that you can do to become unstoppable.

And that is to find your purpose.  There's a quote that I love that a man without a purpose is like a boat without a sail. You know, just drifting along at the winds pulling it left and right.  When you have a purpose, when you have a meaning to your life, Everything else falls into place. And if you don't have a purpose, if you don't know what your meaning is, if you don't know what the point of, of your life is,  it's very hard to feel motivated, to feel engaged, to feel that sense of deep fulfillment. 

And when I speak about purpose, I'm not talking about finding your passion.  So often we get these messages in self help books and in the media like, Oh, find your passion, something like photography or jujitsu or whatever.  But not everyone has a singular passion. And so I'm not talking about finding something you're passionate about.

I'm talking about finding your purpose, finding the values that you live by, finding what gives meaning or substance to your life.  So, this can be a set of values that you live by, maybe a  set of ethics or morals, uh, can be a way of showing up in the world, it can be something like a message that you hope to spread.

You know, what do you wish other people would know?  And there's no right or wrong purpose out there, it's about finding yours, finding what gives meaning to your life.  And also know that your purpose can evolve over time. You know, it might change from year to year, it might be that you discover new things about your purpose.

And you shed old ones.  So don't worry about perfection. But just get connected to something greater than you. Some, uh, overarching theme that you want to live by.  So, find your purpose is number four.  Number five, the fifth thing you can do to become unstoppable is to take care of your body. We know that your body is not separate from your mind.

We know about the body mind connection. When you take care of the body, you take care of the mind.  If your body is unhealthy, It's very challenging to live a healthy emotional life or to live a healthy spiritual life. You know, if you're constantly eating junk food, if you're living a sedentary life, not exercising, not moving around, it's very hard to tap into that state of abundance and fulfillment and confidence that many of us strive for in life.

You know, we want to be feeling  deeply fulfilled, content, powerful people.  And if you're not taking care of your body, It's going to be very hard to connect with those deeper states of being.  So your body is a vessel that supports you on this journey. You can think of your journey like a journey to the mountaintop.

And the body is what supports you.  So there's a few things, you know, we all know this, it's not rocket science.  getting regular exercise and it can just be being more active. It doesn't mean that you have to become an Ironman champion or get into MMA or anything like that. It can even just be being more active, walking more, biking more, taking the stairs.

Finding ways to be active and to move your body around.  We evolved for millions and millions of years. I mean billions if you go back to, to way in our ancestors, you know, constant movement. And we evolved in that way and so our body needs that to be healthy.  So finding ways to exercise, sleep as well is so important.

We know that, you know, it used to be the kind of the code of ethics of the kind of hustlers was That they didn't need much sleep, they could run off of 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night. But we know that that's bullshit now. That you actually need quality sleep. You need good sleep to be performing at your best. 

And so doing the things you need to do, You know, I have a sleep masterclass online. If you're interested, check my website. You can get the information on that.  Again, this isn't rocket science. Go to bed early.  Leave your phone outside of your bedroom. Don't be checking your phone late at night. Don't be looking at screens too late.

Watch your caffeine intake.  Do the things you need to do to get your optimal sleep.  The third thing about taking care of your body, obviously, is to watch your nutrition to eat healthy foods. There are so many different theories and philosophies about this, so I'm not going to go into this. It's not too much, but just the more real foods you can eat, we know that that is the healthiest, right?

The more processed, uh, refined, all that stuff, it's not as healthy as just eating real whole foods. Whether you are a proponent of  a meat based diet or a plant based diet, I don't really care. You know, I don't care what you do, but just eating real foods, eating foods that make you feel nourished and whole. 

Do more of that and eat less of the junk food. And again,  you don't have to quit junk food altogether. I love, you know, if you know me in person, you know that I love cookies. Cookies and brownies is my current addiction of choice. It's very hard for me to manage myself around them. So I have to use certain behavioral architecture techniques.

It's something I talk about in my course, but I have to use these kind of things to make sure that I don't overeat on some of these things because, for me, I love them. I love a nice, warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie.  And you don't have to quit it completely. It's about building a healthier relationship. 

So when you do eat one of those, you're actually enjoying it, you're eating it in moderation. This is the exact same thing for porn that we'll talk about Later, you know, it's not necessarily about complete abstinence. For some people that is, uh, the recommended thing, you know, much better to just do without porn completely, but the most important thing is building a healthy relationship.

So it's Breaking free from addiction at the root source, rather than just closing your eyes, gritting your teeth, and hoping that you never get tempted, right? It's like, how can you become  a person who has a strong mind, who doesn't need addiction?  So,  to recap those, take care of your body, it's about exercise, sleeping well, and feeding your body, nourishing food.

There's so much science out there, we don't, there's no arguing about this, right? We need those three to be taken care of.  And finally, the sixth thing you can do to become unstoppable is to embrace discomfort.  Now, almost everything that will help you move forward in life will feel uncomfortable at first.

And I want to say almost everything. There are some things That  will actually feel comfortable and they are good for you. You know, for example, kindness, being gentle with yourself. That's actually something that will feel good and is good for you. But a lot of the things, particularly when it comes to habits, routines, taking care of your body, meditating, journaling, all these things that will help you move forward in life  will be uncomfortable at first. 

And learning how to embrace discomfort is one of the most essential things you need to understand to become unstoppable and to move your life forward.  So, some examples of this are like being disciplined with a meditation habit.  So many people give up on meditation simply because it's uncomfortable. 

That they would rather not meditate at all than deal with two or three minutes of the discomfort of sitting alone with themselves.  Another example is having difficult conversations with people. This can be either with your friends, with your family members, with lovers. Learning the art of having difficult conversations is such an important thing for your growth as, as a man, as a woman.

It doesn't really matter what, what gender you are, but  particularly when we're looking at  growth, being able to have difficult conversations with people is so important.  Also going against the stream of your conditioned habits and behaviors, let's say you do decide to go eat that cookie and part of your mind is thinking, I really wish I could have two or three cookies instead.

You know, it's uncomfortable to say, no, I'm just going to have one. But that is the discomfort that you have to learn about.  So if you want to know why most people aren't unstoppable, it's because they want to live in their comfort zone.  And so I encourage you to, to not live in your comfort zone. To embrace the suck, to embrace discomfort,  to get out on the open ocean.

You know, like you can live in safe harbor for all of your life, but that's not what boats were made for. Boats were made to sail the open ocean, to live on the seas, crashing in the storms and the wind and the waves and that is what I hope for you, that you will have the bravery, the courage to  To step into the unknown,  to go against the stream of your conditioned habits, to embrace the discomfort. 

You know, particularly when we talk about porn addiction,  so much of it is just that  inability to sit with discomfort. In a moment of boredom, in a moment of discomfort of some emotional thing that just came up. We reach out for something to soothe us, right?  We reach out to porn, to sex, to masturbation, to  soothe our emotional turbulence. 

And instead, can we learn how to sit with the emotion?  Can we learn how to sit in the midst of that difficulty?  And this is one of the things that inspired me so much about Buddhist philosophy and the Buddhist path is, one of the qualities that's so important in Buddhist philosophy is this quality of equanimity.

Thank you.  And equanimity is that quality of mind that can sit in the middle of things,  in the midst of chaos, without being pulled left or right. Now you can sit with something uncomfortable without wanting to run away, without pushing it away. You can also sit in the midst of something very pleasing and attractive without grasping after it and running after it. 

So that quality of equanimity, that balanced state of mind.  that can move through discomfort or can move through something attractive without lunging after it.  That is the ultimate way to become unstoppable, to become unflappable,  is to embrace discomfort and to learn how to keep your cool  and keep,  you know, keep what's most important in front of mind.

Like if your task is to Move in a certain direction.  To be able to have that stability of mind, that grounded, calm sense of mind to say, I'm not going to be buffeted by the storms.  That is true power.  And it's so important when it comes to breaking free from addictions, and particularly porn addiction or digital addiction.

So that is it for today. Those are the six keys to becoming unstoppable. Again, number one, take responsibility for everything. Number two, to channel your lust into your creative energies. Number three, to stop simply chasing pleasure as if it's the only thing that matters. Number four is to find your purpose.

Number five, take care of your body. And number six, to embrace discomfort. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you found it useful, I would love for you to let me know. You can drop me a note on Instagram or go to my website. You can leave a review. I would love to hear from you. And if you want some support in becoming unstoppable, maybe breaking free from porn, I  cultivating healthier habits, getting committed and disciplined with an exercise or nutrition routine, and you're interested in coaching, then get in touch with me and ask about one of my free discovery call sessions.

You can book those totally free on my website to see if coaching is the right fit for you.  So I hope you are all doing well out there in the world, wherever you are. Thank you for joining me on this journey.  And until next time, take care.