108. Avoiding the Slippery Slope: How to Identify & Work With Danger Zones

Distinguished from triggers, danger zones are scenarios where one is more prone to relapse, such as boredom, stress, and isolation. The episode outlines three key strategies: identifying personal danger zones, avoiding them when possible, and creating accountability structures. Furthermore, it emphasizes the importance of both external and internal strategies, such as setting boundaries and connecting to personal values to build resilience. These insights are geared towards individuals overcoming addiction and anyone aiming to change bad habits.

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00:00 Introduction to Danger Zones

01:18 Understanding Danger Zones

02:35 Common Danger Zones

03:38 Personalized Danger Zones

04:23 Understanding Danger Zones in Recovery

05:17 Identifying Your Personal Danger Zones

05:41 Avoiding Danger Zones When Possible

06:53 Mitigating Risks in Unavoidable Danger Zones

08:08 The Importance of Inner Work in Recovery

09:27 Conclusion and Final Thoughts



ABOUT JEREMY LIPKOWITZ

Jeremy overcame addiction, shame, self-judgement, and depression in his early twenties with the help of mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness not only helped him let go of destructive behaviors, it also allowed him to connect with deeper meaning and purpose in his life.

For the past 10 years Jeremy has been teaching mindfulness and emotional intelligence practices at universities, recovery centers, and companies throughout Asia and the US. He holds a Bachelors and Master’s degree in Genetics and Genomics, and spent several years at Duke University working towards a PhD in Genetics & Systems Biology before he turned full-time to teaching mindfulness.

Jeremy is also an ICF certified Executive Coach. As a former scientist and academic, Jeremy has a great passion for bringing his EI based coaching skills into the corporate and professional world. He realizes how powerful & transformative these practices can be for skeptics and senior-level managers. He is known for his calm and grounded demeanor, his expertise in habits and high-performance, and his compassionate approach to transformation.

Transcript

 You're listening to unhooked on today's episode, avoiding the slippery slope, how to identify and work with danger zones. So stay tuned.

 

 So, hello and welcome back to the show. I am back from my trip to London. Back here in Amsterdam.  And today I've got a short episode lined up for you. But it's an important one. One of the topics that comes up quite a bit in my coaching calls, particularly recently is the concept of danger zones. And I think it's something that many people don't fully understand, but could really benefit from thinking about as a part of their recovery journey.  So in this episode today, I'm going to cover what danger zones actually are, why they're not the same as triggers. Some of the most common danger zones, especially for men overcoming point addiction. And of course, how to handle these danger zones when you encounter them.  Now as always with my episodes on this show. This is not only useful for people overcoming point addiction, but this is really just for anyone who's trying to change their habits and behaviors. People who are looking to overcome some bad habits and install some new, healthy habits in their life.  So what is a dangerous zone? Uh, danger zone is more than just a simple trigger. 

It's a time a location or a scenario where you are more susceptible to relapse. So it's not only about the temptation or the trigger. It's about the conditions that make you more likely to give into that temptation.  You can think of it as a situation where the odds are stacked against you, where the odds are not in your favor. Here's a way I like to visualize it, particularly with my clients.

Imagine you're driving a motorbike along a beautiful coastline. Is winding curves, no something like beautiful coastline scenery. And you're enjoying the ride, but then you notice an area up ahead with some loose rocks or some gravel scattered across the road. Or maybe there's ice on the road, maybe it's foggy and there's low visibility in these kinds of spots. 

There's an increased risk of slipping off the road.  Another way of looking at it is maybe the guard rails are missing so that if you do slip, there's nothing to catch you before you slide all the way down the mountain. In other words, you're in a high risk environment, the chances of you slipping are increased.  That's what it's like to enter a danger zone in recovery.  So what are some examples of danger zones, particularly for pointed action?  These will be specific to each individual. You know, there will be personal to you. But some of the most common ones that I hear about. And that I have experienced myself or boredom, you know, boredom is a huge one. 

You're sitting at home you're alone. You're bored. That's a big danger zone for a lot of guys. Another one could be periods of heavy stress at work. So if you're going through a period of work where it's very stressful, there's a lot of difficult conversations coming up and that can be a danger zone.  Hotel rooms can also be big, dangerous zones. 

Uh, you know, especially if you're traveling alone, there's something about that environment. That is very, you know, sticky. It's, it's hard for people to get through it. It's much more susceptible to relapse.  Some other dangerous zones. Things like parties or maybe events where alcohol or recreational drugs are present.  Places where you've acted out in the past can also be dangerous zones. You know, the intensity of the triggers can be strong.  Isolation can also be a dangerous zone. You know, if you know that you're going to be spending a lot of time alone or moments when you think, Hey, no one will know what I'm up to. 

I can get away with this. Another interesting danger zone is working from home. This is one that I'm seeing more and more in my practice. You know, the boundaries are blurred. Between work and personal life and there's many distractions. And again, also that time alone.  Danger zones can even be simple things like Friday nights or Saturday nights, you know, the week is over and maybe there's some tentation to. Unwind in a familiar way.  So again, each of these danger zones are relative. 

They depend on your own personal history and where you are in your recovery. Important things to understand here is that the further along you are in your recovery, the fewer danger zones might exist for you because you've developed the skills to manage these situations.  So for example,  Early on in my own recovery, I had to be more mindful or at least aware about going to places like the gym or going to yoga classes where again, the intensity of triggers was quite high. So over time, these environments stopped being dangerous zones for me, because I was able to have some more space in my sobriety, you know, more tools in my tool belt, and also because of the momentum of those habits and those triggers died down. So, those are no longer dangerous zones for me, whereas they used to be. 

So it really is relative, depending on where you are in your recovery.  So, how do we deal with dangerous zones? There are three tips that I have that can make a huge difference.  The first tip is to identify your personal danger zones. So self-awareness here is key. Paying attention to how certain environments make you feel. You know, mindfulness here is going to be a really powerful tool for noticing. Which situations or places feel like dangerous zones for you?  The more that you can notice these patterns, the easier it's going to be to anticipate your danger zones.  Tip number two is to avoid danger zones when possible. So to think of your recovery, like this fragile egg that you're carrying, you know, sometimes in, in, uh, elementary school or middle school, you get this assignment where you have to take home an egg. And you have to care for it for a whole week, and then you have to take it back to the class and show that you've actually cared for it.  So you need to protect this egg at all costs. And sometimes that means avoiding high risk situations altogether. So you can ask yourself, is it worth putting myself in this situation?  You know, if you have a problem with alcohol, if alcohol is something that tends to be a slippery slope and causes you to relapse. You can ask, is it worth going to this party where I know there's going to be a lot of people drinking? Sometimes, particularly early in your recovery, the best option is just to stay away from these danger zones and these situations where you're at higher risk, the same with, you know, things like working at home. 

If working at home as a danger zone for you. Then it might be worthwhile avoiding that and, you know, uh, paying money to rent out a coworking space. These are some examples of when you can avoid it.  If you can't avoid a dangerous zone, let's say it's a part of your work. Or, you know, there's for whatever reason, it's not something you can avoid. 

Um, see if you can mitigate the risk ahead of time. And create accountability for yourself. 

So, if you know that you're entering a =danger zone, you can take some proactive steps to support your recovery. 

One of the best ways to do this is to commit to a friend or a coach, you know, let them know that you're heading into a potentially difficult situation. And that you committed to staying on track. In the past, I've used this technique myself. I'd call up a friend and say, Hey, you know, I'm going into a danger zone. 

I'm going into a place where I've acted out in the past and, you know, Little bit worried and I'm just letting you know, because I want to recommit myself to not acting out. So can you check in on me next week and. You know, just make sure that I've stayed committed to that.  So that extra layer of accountability can really make a huge difference there. 

And this is something.  That has added benefits as well. Again, when you open up to your friends to people that are there to support you, it also helps you let go of shame and, you know, Melt some of that toxic shame that you might have around the habit.  Now, with all of this, remember that habit change. 

Isn't just about addressing the external factors. It's also about doing the inner work so that eventually these, these danger zones no longer affect you in the same way.  So instead of constantly trying to avoid or sweep the gravel off the road, you know, in this metaphor, if you driving along the coastline, Instead of trying to avoid or sweep the gravel off the road. 

Imagine that you can upgrade your vehicle to one with traction control and four wheel drive.  Over time. You're equipping yourself to handle these situations. With more resilience and with more skillfulness, you know, you become a person who can go into those danger zones without fear, because you're well-equipped to deal with whatever comes your way.  So being smart about your recovery means both doing the inner work and the outer work, you know, avoiding the risky situations. And that's setting boundaries with yourself and others and doing that inner work, which includes things like cultivating inner strength and resilience. And things like connecting to what's most important to you, you know, understanding what your values are, what are your aspirations? If you do this dual approach, it makes you much stronger. At dealing with dangerous zones.  So that's all I have for you today. 

If you found the episode today, valuable, if you find it helpful. Please consider doing us a huge favor and subscribing to the show or leaving us a review on apple podcasts or Spotify. The reviews can be totally anonymous, so you can do it without letting anyone know that you listened to this show, if that's an issue for you, but it really does help the algorithm spread the show to more people who might benefit from it.  All right, take care. 

And I'll see you on the next episode.