126. What to Do When Your Brain Gets Hijacked by Cravings

In this episode, I discuss the internal battle between the rational and survival parts of the brain, especially in the context of porn addiction. I introduce a science-backed technique to intercept amygdala hijacks, emphasize the power of labeling emotions to regain control, and share my personal journey. Learn the importance of mindfulness and practical strategies to shift control back to the prefrontal cortex for better decision-making.

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Shownotes

00:00 Introduction: The Battle in Your Brain

00:40 Meet Jeremy: Personal and Professional Insights

01:52 Understanding the Amygdala Hijack

02:59 The Fight, Flight, Freeze, or F*** Response

06:35 Mindfulness Technique: Labeling Your Emotions

08:08 Building the Habit: Daily Mindfulness Practice

09:14 Conclusion: Gaining Control and Freedom

10:20 Subscribe and Further Support

Transcript

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So right now, there's a battle happening in your brain. On one side, your logical mind. The part of you that wants to make good decisions, stay in control, and live with integrity. And on the other side, your survival brain. The one that's driven by instinct, craving, and impulse. 

And sometimes it feels like that's the part of you that wins. 

But what if I could tell you that there's a way to intercept that hijack. A way to pause, regain control, and shift back into your rational mind before you act on impulse.

Today I'm going to share a powerful, science backed technique that will help you stop these amygdala hijacks in their tracks, whether they show up as lust, or anger, or self sabotage. 



 

So, hey guys, if you're new here, my name is Jeremy Lipkowitz, and for the past seven years I've been working with men to help them break free from porn addiction.

I've coached hundreds of men through the exact struggle that we're talking about today, but beyond my work, I know this issue personally. In my mid twenties, I was caught in my own cycle of porn addiction. Getting hijacked by urges, acting on impulses, and feeling powerless against it.

I remember the frustration and the exhaustion of trying to resist cravings using sheer willpower alone. Only to find myself falling time and time again.  So honestly, this is the video that I wish I had seen at the start of my journey. It would have saved me so many years of struggle by showing me how to take back control of my mind, not by fighting against it, but by working with it. 

And stay with me to the end of this video because I'm going to share a simple but powerful technique that will help you short circuit these amygdala hijacks and bring your prefrontal cortex, this is the rational decision making part of your brain, back online in just seconds. So let's dive in.

 

So the first step is understanding the amygdala and the amygdala hijack. Now have you ever done something and immediately regretted it? Or maybe you found yourself unable to stop obsessing over something, no matter how hard you tried. Now maybe you said something in anger that you wish you could take back.

Maybe you acted on an impulse when you knew that you shouldn't. Maybe you got stuck reliving some shameful memory in your mind. Or, like many of us, found yourself logging on and watching porn even though you swore you wouldn't.  And then, at some point later, you snap out of it and you think, What the hell was I just doing? 

 

This is what's known as the amygdala hijack. It's when your survival brain takes over and shuts down the rational thought part of your brain and puts you into autopilot mode.  And if you're trying to break free from porn addiction, understanding this amygdala hijack is essential. Because once you understand this, you can see that self control isn't just about using willpower.

It's about learning how to interrupt this process before it takes over completely.

Now when you get triggered or activated, whether it's by stress, an argument, a painful memory, or seeing an attractive person, your  amygdala, this is the part of your brain that's responsible for detecting threats and opportunities. It kicks into overdrive. And this sets off what's known as the fight flight.

freeze response. And in fact, there's a fourth F there, which is the fight, flight, freeze, or fuck response. In the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for logic, decision making, impulse control, it gets down regulated when the amygdala takes over. When this happens, you stop thinking clearly, and you become consumed by whatever it is that's triggered you.

You know, a common term is seeing red. You act out, you fight, you freeze, whatever it is, and later on you end up regretting it.

Now, one important caveat here is that it is not always a bad thing. Sometimes we actually need that immediate amygdala hijack. For example, if you're standing in the middle of a road and a bus is coming at you, you actually need to shut down your prefrontal cortex and just get your body to jump out of the way.

So these are the times where it's adaptive and this is again how it evolved. It evolved as a survival mechanism. But what happens is in our modern society, It has gone on overdrive and it is becoming active in places where it shouldn't be. 



Now, have you ever had that moment of post nut clarity? As crude as that phrase sounds, it actually really describes what happens when your prefrontal cortex comes back online and you suddenly realize, what am I doing with my life?  Now, this hijack isn't just about porn or sex. It also happens in situations, for example, when you can't stop replaying some argument in your head.

You know, you're just reliving this argument again and again. Or, for example, when you feel compelled to check your phone over and over for a response from someone, for a notification.  It can also be When you can't stop yourself from checking out a girl in public, you know, somebody's walking by and your mind takes over.









And this is, again, the amygdala hijack. In all of these cases, your higher rational parts of your brain shut down. 

They down regulate and your survival instincts take over. The fight, flight, freeze, and fuck response. And this happens because of the way your brain evolved. The reptilian brain, the oldest part of your brain, is designed for survival. 

It reacts very fast, it's not necessarily very smart. So if it perceives a threat or an opportunity, it doesn't stop to think, it just acts. So if a lion jumps out at you, you run away. If an enemy attacks you, you fight. And if something terrifying happens, you freeze. And if you see an opportunity to reproduce, well, your body tells you to go for it. 

And this is why willpower alone isn't enough to break free from some of these impulses. Because often, you can't out think the amygdala. At least not in the moment. It's too fast and too primal. You can't out muscle it, really. So instead, you need a strategy to shift control back to your rational mind before the hijack takes over.

Now the good news is we know how to bring the prefrontal cortex back online and it's simpler than you might think. The key is mindfulness, specifically a mindfulness technique called labeling.  So here's how it works. The moment you start to feel triggered, the moment you notice feeling activated or triggered, see if you can pause.

And instead of acting on the urge, simply take one moment to label what's happening.  To use a single word to name your experience. So for example, Lust, Craving,  Anger, Frustration,  Sadness.  Even better if you can actually put it into a sentence, Oh, I'm feeling lust. Or, oh, frustration is arising.  What this does is it intercepts the amygdala hijack.

The moment you name what you're feeling, you shift the neural activity from the amygdala back to the prefrontal cortex. It forces you to actually engage the part of your brain that is rational and observant and in control. I know it might almost sound too simple, but research actually shows that labeling your emotions reduces their intensity, and helps you step out of that autopilot mode.

It helps you deactivate the amygdala hijack. Now, like any skill, this skill takes practice. Meaning, the more you practice it, the better you get. And you can't expect to remember it in the heat of the moment if you don't train it on a regular basis.  So, that's why daily mindfulness practice is essential.

So here's what you can do to build this habit. Set aside a few minutes a day, maybe 5 minutes, maybe 10 minutes, for mindfulness meditation. And during that meditation, at least for part of it, see if you can actively label your emotions as they arise. So, if a craving is arising during your meditation, simply label it, Oh, craving, craving, or Oh, my old friend lust, or Oh, here's frustration again.

You know, we're practicing this. labeling technique, you are training your brain to use this skill automatically when it matters most.  The second key to building this habit is to start implementing it into your day to day life. You know, to notice the little hijacks that happen. on your attention throughout the day and then to practice labeling and coming back to your rational self.

So even the small hijacks, the little moments of frustration or anger or self judgment, these are moments where you can pause, label what's happening and come back to yourself.

Now here's the key takeaway. When the amygdala hijacks you, it can feel like you have no control, but that's not true. You just need to learn how to interrupt the hijack and bring your rational mind back online. And all it takes is one moment. One moment of clarity can be enough to intercept the hijack and bring yourself back online. 

Now mindfulness and labeling are simple. but powerful tools that allow you to pause and to observe and then to respond rather than to react.  And when you master this skill, you don't just gain control over your impulses. Ultimately, you gain your freedom. You gain the freedom to make conscious choices in your life, rather than living your life reactively, always just going after your impulses.

You get the freedom to make a conscious choice about how you want to live your life. To live your life on your own terms.  So I hope that this inspires you to start practicing today, to bring that awareness to your life.

 with you, make sure to subscribe or follow on whatever platform you're watching on so you don't miss out on future episodes.

You can also consider sharing this episode with a friend. It really does help grow the channel and the podcast through word of mouth. And if you're looking for more structured support, you can check out my program Unhooked Academy, where we dive deeper into mindfulness, neuroscience, and some of the practical tools for your recovery. 

So thanks for listening. I'll see you on the next episode.